Stepping into the lives of individuals at their most vulnerable and uncertain phase – the end of life – is often challenging. This phase echoes life’s inception, marked by vulnerabilities and mysteries, yet differing in one significant aspect. While the presence of healthcare professionals at the beginning of life sparks joy and anticipation, their necessity during the end of life often symbolizes distress, intrusion, or even failure. Being a hospice nurse must involve navigating a gamut of receptions, from warm welcome to suspicion as an impending harbringer of death, all while managing the emotional turbulence of both patients and their families. The role of an end-of-life doula is to not only help patients and their families, but to also help erase the misconceptions of hospice care.

If you are a hospice worker, this is my sincere expression of gratitude. Your presence brings a torrent of kindness, love, gentleness, and guidance to your patients and their families. Amidst the turmoil that is hospice care, you serve as a beacon of calm and a rock of support. More than five years have passed since my mother left this world, and I remember fondly her hospice nurse, Lou. Lou brought an immediate sense of security and competence to our home, easing my anxieties about potentially causing harm to my mother.

Although I was fortunate to have continual support from my husband, friends, and extended family, I recognize that not everyone has this luxury. The irreplaceable role of hospice in ensuring a dignified death often cannot be fulfilled entirely due to healthcare system constraints. Thus, families are either left to provide care themselves or compelled to pay for professional in-home healthcare services.

Caregivers Need Support, Too.

Acting as a caregiver is undoubtedly exhausting. You find yourself ensnared in a world of medication schedules, pain management, and balancing the avoidance of physical pain with the preservation of your loved one’s dignity. It’s a taxing ordeal, both physically and emotionally.

Moreover, it steals away precious moments with your loved one. Instead of cherishing final moments, sharing last words, and savoring final hugs, your mind is buzzing with doubts and regrets. As a caregiver, you also have to look after your own needs. Who, then, looks after the caregiver?

The Role of an End of Life Doula

In my role as an end-of-life doula, I strive to help people experience a peaceful, burden-free passing. One of the services I provide is respite care, which allows caregivers to take a breather, run errands, or even enjoy a well-deserved pampering session. In addition, I offer light housekeeping and meal prep, enabling caregivers to focus on being present with their loved one. While I don’t provide medical care, I can assist with everything else.

By virtue of my training and personal experience, your hospice team can rest assured that I am capable in aiding them in patient assessment. I don’t aim to replace hospice care, rather I work alongside them in our common goal of facilitating a good death.

To all hospice workers, I would love to meet over a cup of coffee to share more about my role and how we can collaborate. You can contact me via my website. Your selfless dedication truly inspires me and reinforces my desire to be an end-of-life doula; to extend the love and care that you so compassionately offer your patients.

In Kindness, Beth